Mar 19, 20203 min
Who would have thought that in 2020 women would still be judged for what they decide to do with their body...especially when it's for their own health.
I have never felt as uncomfortable going to the doctors as I do in Hong Kong. Not because I dread needles, or because I am a germophobe and become fidgety in the waiting rooms. But because the doctors and nurses tend to become judgemental when consulting you.
Specifically, I'm referring to judgement about periods.
Not for the first time earlier this year I was grilled about the date of my last period as a prerequisite for a doctor's appointment. A doctor's appointment mind you, not about anything to do with my reproductive system... but a cold.
The nurse was appalled when I couldn’t answer the standard question - “when was your last period?”
I’m not talking about vague timings here, she needed the exact start date.
I'm not sure if I'm abnormal, but I usually don't take note of this. It's not something I want to think about more than I have to, and I am not organised enough to have a tracking app. Other than x-rays or a few day procedures, this has never really been a question I needed to be prepared for when I visited the doctor in Australia.
But due to what seemed to be cultural differences, or perhaps a conservative view on contraception, it made me feel ashamed.
No matter how much I tried to explain that for health reasons I'm actually meant to skip my period for months at a time, she couldn't understand why I couldn't answer her simple question. She became judgemental, and to a point it was almost as if she were accusing me of being irresponsible.
After five minutes of back and forth, and on the verge of becoming upset, feeling like I was a careless female for not knowing this information, I sifted through my calendar and told her what I thought might be a close enough date. She cleared her throat, looked down and said she was going to write that I had forgotten.
Great I thought, I can live with that. But it didn't stop there, the judgement continued.
Her body language towards me changed completely. She stopped making eye contact. I felt like I was in the wrong, a reckless young woman taking advantage of modern day medicine rather than being a model female citizen.
Without looking at me she handed me my form, and pointed towards the area I was to wait before being called into the doctor's room. Where I sat wondering if I would need to go through the explanation again with the doctor, trying to hide my shame as to why the form wasn't completed accurately.
After I left, my perspective shifted. Instead of feeling ashamed, I was offended.
Offended that someone in this profession wasn't able to accept different health circumstances. Offended that she pressed for the information so hard, I felt I was in the wrong and started to question my authority over my own body. Offended that it made me feel guilty and judged for even taking contraception.
This led me to think how so many people are stuck in the past, resisting change and quickly judging millennials for their way of thinking and life choices, and the unknown impact of their behaviour.
Perhaps the reason our generation is stereotyped is that we are embracing change. We have more access to information. We have more ways to express ourselves. And we have more freedom to make our own decisions.
We are living the life we want. And that should be okay.
Period.